maybe only when...

i wish i haf the same passion.

maybe only when u are about to lose someone, or when u lose someone then u will realise the importance of that person, or how much you love him/her.
u see ur loved one sick. so sick that ure scared that u'll lose him soon.
den u realise how much u'll do in order to let him survive. u could even die for him!

this makes me wonder: what if my mom/dad were to pass away tmr? what haf i done for them?

how much haf i done for my parents. my grandparents. my relatives. my friends. what haf i done?
tell u the truth i think i did nothing.
i've always wanted to spend more time with my parents. be good to them. be more filial n do things to make them happy.
lemme tell u, it's so hard to show my love for them.
laziness has devoured my life. not saying that i haf school, projects n friends to spend my time on.
but im just plain lazy.
i think studying is so tiring. i always say im so tired after a day of school n project stuff.
but sometimes i think: "they're getting old. they're more tired than me. n they work so hard to help with the family. n all i do is sit in front of the computer or tv or hang out with my frns or go to school n do projects. yet i always take pocket money from them. n my dad is still jobless. shit. plus that family don wana buy my house. wat shit is this world coming to? already my family is in such crisis n yet this shit happens to us."